Here is an oxymoron for you: A Fun Funeral.
We went to a funeral recently. After the funeral, we were talking to my parents, who also attended.
My parents, as usual, were full of the crazy:
Mom: Wow, we don’t know this many people.
Dad: Ya, the whole town came. We need to get some friends.
Mom: Our funeral will be pathetic.
Dad: We need to get some friends.
Mom: Laura, make sure to put in our funeral notice that there will be a FREE buffet.
Mom: Did you see all of the pictures they had of her? Laura – make sure when I die that you really put a lot of effort into the pictures of me.
Me: Do you want me to start now? So I make sure to do a good job?
Mom: That is a great idea!!!
Dad: I want some good music at my funeral.
Me: So, like, a soundtrack? Should I make you a soundtrack of your favorite songs?
Dad: Ohhhh yes. That would be so cool. Yeah… a soundtrack.
Me: Well, as long as we are getting totally crazy, how about we put up your art instead of pictures of you? We can hang them all along the funeral parlor.
Dad: Really? My own showing? Cool.
Me: Dad, you would be DEAD!! Maybe you should not be getting so excited over this.
Tyler: You know, we could put price tags on each canvas and then a slash over the price with a HIGHER price! His art will be worth more when he is dead.
Dad: OH that’s right! How much do you think I would make?
Me: Dad – YOU WOULD BE DEAD!
Mom: Don’t forget about me! I want good pictures.
Me: At this point, I might just kill you both now. This is all crazy talk!
Mom: But you’re going to start working on it NOW right? You will be pretty broken up to do a good job when we actually die.
Me: Sure mom. I’ll get on it now.
In theory, it is a good idea to get started on their “requests.”
In actuality, it is creepy and morbid.
If these were your parents, what would YOU do?