Alternate Title: The One Where I Offend All of My Followers
Let me just start by saying that I totally and completely get the point of sending out Christmas/Holiday cards out each year.
I get it.
However as I grow older I feel less compelled to show people how I really care. It just seems so pointless.
Now I used to send out cards to everyone I knew. I would write a message on each card, by hand, and mail them out.
Then I had kids and would still write out, by hand, each card and I would also include a photo.
Then I just got tired.
We never speak. We never call. We don’t do Facebook. Maybe if there is a reunion, wedding, or funeral we see each other in person. If we aren’t family, maybe we won’t see each other at all.
Yes. I know you want to see how the kids have grown and I do too, but really we both know that you are going to look at it for a split second, say “ahhh”, and then toss it into the garbage.
The cards over the years have progressed from handwritten to pre-printed photo cards to pre-printed envelopes maybe not even sent from you, maybe it was sent from the online company for an extra 20 cents a pop.
It has gotten a little impersonal which is the exact opposite of what we are going for.
Of course, then you have the super personal Holiday Letters which are always fun to read, but again, it is a little campy. “Billy is awesome. Susie is awesome. We are all so awesome. Happy Holidays!”
(Hey. I sent out my 1st letter last year so I can say these things.)
This year I am just not feeling the whole card thing. This year I want to be completely different and really raise some eyebrows to the people we send our cards out to so I have got a couple of ideas:
Write a letter about all of the things that happened to us that were not awesome at all:
“Erika painted 3 rooms this October and she hit the ceiling 10 times.”
“Tyler shattered his cell phone 3 times in 1 month.”
Write a Letter Completely Full of Lies:
“Tyler was gone for 3 days in October because he was abducted by aliens.”
“Erika’s been asked to be the Official Blogger of the Royal Wedding of William and Kate.”
Are those a little too bizarre?
Maybe I could do a normal letter with some truths and some lies thrown in just to mix it up?
I need help people. What should I do?
Just don’t suggest I fill my cards with glitter so that I can give everyone such a lovely surprise when they open it. I have cleaned up glitter many a time and it truly is the gift that keeps on giving because it never goes away.